No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
