I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
