Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
