It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
