We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
