I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
