pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
