a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
