And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
