It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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