Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
