Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
