i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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