wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
