I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize