My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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