So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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