im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
