Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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