Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I could fuck to npr.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
