I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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