based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
