you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
i now understand why vodka
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
