She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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