Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize