My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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