My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
