his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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