Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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