they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize