and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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