My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
