I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
