we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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