Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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