she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I want her autograph on my taint
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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