Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The power of my boobs compel you
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
