Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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