We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My bed smells like the plague
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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