She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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