Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
