yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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