Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize