Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
