so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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