brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Alive.
So much puke
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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