Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize