:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I smell stomach acid.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
