I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
