I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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