im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
