If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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