You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Enjoy the penises
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
