Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
