Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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