Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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