Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Randomize
