Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
