Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize