I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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