HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize