it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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