This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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