So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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