I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
