Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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