Screwed.edu
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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