He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
