There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
